At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
