that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Welp...herpes.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
