Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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