Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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