I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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