True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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