and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
