It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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