SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
