I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
