ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
