he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
