I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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