Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
you never un-have a 4some
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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