cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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