I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
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Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
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Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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