yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
