elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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