ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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