Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My life is pants optional.
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