my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
