Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
