you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
