We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
