I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
worst night to have a conscience
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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