he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
