chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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