Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
