The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize