Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize