I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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