It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
