Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize