I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
