We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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