We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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