We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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