"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
