Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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