I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
