I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
