I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
