now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
