It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
