I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
