the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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