Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
