if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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