U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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