the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
