omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
