The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Randomize
