I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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