my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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