**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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