Please, let me fuck your mom
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
