Got a toothbrush?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
