but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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