I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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